The Truth about Liars.

While visiting one of my favourite sites the other day I read a few lines about an old classic called "Jhooti ". Bhaaga Bhaaga is picturised on Rekha, who plays a compulsive liar in the film, Jhooti. The film was directed by Hrishikesh Mukherjee and also starred Raj Babbar and Amol Palekar.

Not that I remember seeing the movie nor do I have any concerns with Rekha, but I thought to myself ( ya! I have taken it up as a part time job now) what in the world is a Compulsive liar and why would someone make a movie on that?. I think I am so fascinated by the world of lies and deception ever since we have become die hard fans of Sach ka Samna.So once again I googled it ( Man! i don't know what I would have done if google didn't exist!!.)and discovered the whole truth about lies..

TTs Theory on Lies

Google the word "Lie" and you will find 113,000,000 Sites dedicated to it. Type the word "truth" and you will find 187,000,000 sites dedicated to it. Type the word "confess" and you will find only 12,000,000 sites dedicated to it.. So I would like to safely conclude that the margin between people interested in telling the truth and those who choose to lie is decreasing rapidly and only 11% of the people who chose to lie have ever thought about confessing it. To add salt to injury I dared to google honesty and found only 20,300,000 sites interested in it while the combined site count for Liar(s) is 25,760,000. You might have guessed by now that I have no other work to do but hey someone has to show some concern for the future of mankind right..

So my desire to find out what a compulsive liar was justified but that was not before i realised that there are 16 known ways of telling lies namely Fabrication ,Bold-faced lie ,Lying by omission,Lie-to-children, White lie, Noble lie, Emergency Lie ,Perjury ,Bluffing ,Misleading/Dissembling ,Exaggeration ,Jocose lies ,Contextual

lies ,Puffery,Lying in Trade Lie by obsolete signage while theres is only 1 way to tell the truth. No wonder we live in lies. its like choosing from the ice ream available with Baskin Robbins flavours or between Chocolate and Vanilla. I know extremely tempting right??.. wait till to hear the rest of what I have got to say.

So basically it seems there are many types of liars too. Occasional Liars, Frequent Liars, Habitual Liars, Professional Liars then the Pathological and Compulsive Liars. People you work with, live with, move around, they all fall into one of these categories. I am not going to justify a lie but I feel special attention needs to be given to understand who a Compulsive Liar is cause its an extreme case when compared to the rest.

To define a compulsive liar:"A compulsive liar is defined as someone who lies out of habit. Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, large and small. For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right. Compulsive lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood, due to being placed in an environment where lying was necessary. For the most part, compulsive liars are not overly manipulative and cunning rather they simply lie out of habit - an automatic response which is hard to break and one that takes its toll on a relationship ."

So how do you spot a compulsive Liar.

Gottcha !!!( Source www.ehow.com)

***Compulsive liars lie on a regular and ongoing basis; it is a habit in which they participate almost all the time.

***Consider the apparent ease with which a person tells a lie. If they appear uncomfortable or nervous, then chances are that they are not a compulsive liar. Lying comes naturally to a compulsive liar, who looks and feels more comfortable lying than telling the truth.
Focus on the types of things that the person lies about. A compulsive liar often lies about anything and everything, even small, seemingly insignificant things.

***Evaluate the motivation behind the person's lying. If the person seems to lie simply when it is beneficial for them or when it gets them out of an awkward situation, they are probably not a compulsive liar. Someone who is a compulsive liar generally lies because doing so is a habit and not because they are trying to manipulate others.

***Think about the person's personality characteristics to determine whether they fit the stereotype of a compulsive liar. Often, compulsive liars begin this habit to get attention from others or to make themselves appear better in some way, so a compulsive liar may have issues with poor self esteem.

***Examine whether a potential compulsive liar recognizes their behavior. Because lying is such an ingrained habit for a compulsive liar, they may not even recognize that they are doing it, or they may deny the behavior.

***Look at the person's ability to remain consistent in what they say. A compulsive liar may have a difficult time keeping their stories straight since they have injected so many lies into what they have told other people

Now that we have identified the problem, I think Its only fair we at least have a plan in place to make them snap out of it

Face the Truth

***Take some time to think about what you will say to a person who compulsively lies. You want to be gentle, yet stern and come to him in a way that might help him receive what you are saying. If you scream and shout at him, it won't help the situation. It will only stir up more strife.

***Talk to the person with the compulsive lying problem about different situations that occurred when you knew he was lying. You will need to present your proof so that he will have to face the truth. When you interact with the person who has compulsive lying issues, you will need to present the truth to him every time he lies to you about something. Doing this will help him to deal with his problem often, as well as help him to realize that, yes, he has a problem and that he really needs to make a decision about lying to people.

***Be patient with the person. More than likely, he did not become like this overnight. It will, therefore, take some time to get free from this problem if he is serious about it. So, if you truly feel that you want to help this person to get free from compulsive lying, you will definitely need patience as well as the heart and the grace to stick it out.

***Tell the person if he doesn't do something about it, you will not continue to be around him any longer because he is not only hurting himself, but others as well. Sometimes people decide to finally get serious about getting help when they know they will lose a valuable relationship.

***Leave the situation alone. If it becomes too much for you and the person is not doing anything about it, it just may be time to get away from it all. You cannot force people to get help. If he has the ability to make a decision and refuses to do so, no matter how hard you try to convince him, you will be spinning your wheels and helping him to hurt you even more in the process.

Well I could go on and on about this.. its so easy to point at another and say " Oh why did u do this" but its interesting to think "Oh this is why you did this". and to think 901 people have started 14 groups in facebook simply called "I HATE COMPULSIVE LIARS".. it means there is a quite a few out there who do serious damage without them actually realising the aftermath..and those who suffer at their hands are left heart broken and deceived.

I shall return to work now.. I have told RG I have an important meeting today where we are closing a multi million dollar deal and wont be able to attend to any calls today .. hey that not a compulsive lie that B****S***. ;)