La-earlobe venture...

I wish I wouldn't have ever said this one but I guess I have successfully joined the 'kill the co-league' gang. I wonder why these silly women push me into taking out my wipers from the cold storage where I generally keep them burried under tons and tons of snow!
She walks into the room dressed practically in clothes which look like they have been picked from a second hand store. I notice a blemish on her blue pants but I ignore it with me a pleasant Good Morning. The 'misthi' enters and the 'blemish' goes to her and does a la-earlobe-probing. Yes! That's what I call it. Once you see it, you feel like blemish is entering the ears of the listener to make her voice last forever in their eardrums. Phew! I wonder how people tolerate the proximity. Now when you have a complicated life you prefer to keep your profile low and watch your own tail, but the blemish is the perfect example of how the opposite works best in a environment of idiots or masters in pretence. So, after the la-earlobe-probing is done she moves on to the next level which is taking her feel-alike gang members into another room and discuss the uselssness of others and serviceability of herself. The gang also consists of a large crowd which had never had a proper vent untill the madmoiselle arrived. The saviour in borrowed clothes! Voila!! She makes it a point that everyone of her gang members and whoever wishes to be incorporated into the VIP circuit comes along with her to the cafeteria to be enlightened to their inner being about the exquisite mental torture poor madmoiselle goes through.

Path that leads to nowhere....

Oh! I am here again,
I have wandered through the forests of my thoughts and reached that path again,
that path which I swore I would never return to.
Oh this path is so dark, the danger ahead is so familiar yet they strike when least expected,
yes, I can feel it the thorns and spikes in this path will prick me any moment.
I swore I would never return to this path, but here I am again.
The path is so evil, so cunning, so sharp..
Only I can see the miseries it has to offer..
for you its just another path.
I had built a barrier across it,
a sign to tell me to a take a detour,
Because these paths have given me so much pain..
I wished I never had seen that path.
But here I am again..wandering in those thoughts of mine.
Here I am again..in the middle of this maze of emotions and uphills.
I can't ask your help, its something that I have to get across myself,
Coz, only I have the map to get out of this mess.
If only I could remember where I left it.
Was it in the arms of the loved one, the care of my mother,
was it in the dreams I had of a wonderful life with you, oh beloved!
Ah yes there its..the map out of this path is in your hands..
In your love and abundant care..
Open your palm and let me hold on..
Show me the light out of this darkness..and lets built a new path of our own..
I wandered and had reached this path..The path I swore I would never return to.

My experiments and results from Life

Having completed 25 years of existence I have recently thought to myself..When I leave this world..what would I have left behind..how would people remember me..So after thinking abt the most cost effective ( to be read as Free) way of doing something about it, I came to the conclusion that since the best thing I am good at is preaching and making my own theories why not formalize them and share them with the world . So here goes.

a. The 5 second food drop theory

Imagine u open the fridge or a pracel from the restraunt and it slips and falls on the floor, the first thing that would come in your mind is to throw it right..But think of all the trouble and wait you went through to get that parcel, why through it.So if the food is picked within 5 seconds its safe to eat.the time span would reduce as per the condition of the floor.

b.Bitting your nails without making contact with the dirt in between it is safe.

Imagine you are in a hurry for a meeting and you look at your finger nails..Oops forgot to cut them. So what do you do? Go in search of a nail cutter? Dont be silly. just bite them off making sure you dont get into your system any of the dirt and grime thats in between it

and then take a deep breath and spit the nail out. Tada!!..You wont get sick..if you do..carry a nail cutter next time.

c. Everything in life has a dual Purpose- Example: Microwave.

So you didnt wash your socks and inner wear, and now need to rush for a meeting..Dont worry..Jst wash them and leave them in the microwave while u dress up. Socks 1- 2 minutes, Inner wear 2- 3 Minutes. then take them out and place them under the fan for a while and wear them.

d. Make fuss about small things.. Keep quite about the big things as far as possible.

Ok so you crib a lot..So what!. unless ur dissatisfied about everything..How can you keep asking for more. The key however to remain unnoticed and non-controversial is to make fuss only about things that really dont matter in the big picture of life.. In that way not only will people notice that you will find faults in everything, They will also say nah its Ok. he cribs about everything..so dont take that so seriously.

e. Never let people know they have won.

They say silence is the best tool.. I would like to add to that by saying remain cool when you know you have lost. Accepting defeat gracefully is not the key silently accepting it so that only you and the person in question now about it is the best way to save yourself from further embarassement and the opportunity for more people to ride on your back.

f. Love few.. But love them well!!

I guess that law doesnt have to be explained much.. but the key is to never let the people you love the most complain that you have no time for them.. Everything else in life can wait but the grievance and complaints of a loved one needs to be attended on priority.

g. Make it a habit to do things without a reason.

Not everything in life is done for a reason, Sometimes the best things to do ,the ones which give you the most happiness and are worth remembering are the ones you have done without any reason and at the spur of the moment. Be a rebel!!

h. The only thing you can change in a person is the way he sees you.

Lets face it, we cant change anybody. We think we can but in that process we are changing our selves, coming to terms with the fact that its not them but we who need a change in our way of looking at things. The people around us still remain the same. Its a Chain reaction.

i. Communication gaps.. close them ASAP

Never leave a communication gap in anythin you do. whether at work or in personal life. Complete the cycle of communication. Dont assume,dont leave it for tomorrow, dont do it in a hurry. Do it in a such a way that your life depends on its successful completion. Remember people are waiting for the chance to pick that gap in you.

j. Be inspired by many, but always have your own school of thought

You should develop your own school of thought, your own set of principles, dos donts. and try as much as possible to stick to them.If they fails, so what? you are the principal of your school, you can always change, bend or make new rules. Right??

Well theres plenty more to right..but everyone should be given a chance to learn from their own mistakes. so go ahead live your own life.

Salmiya to Jahra- 12KD

"Can I get a Taxi please??" I asked the receptionist at the hotel I had checked in. "Sure", they said.. "5 minutes".. so i got out my room and reached the lobby to be pleastantly greeted by my Cab driver,David. I smiled and entered the car. after the usual exchange of dialogues the journey continued. David or Dev as likes to be called was from Goa. We shared a few similarities and differences between the Goan and Keralite community and how Keralites find them selves so comfortable in the Gulf countries while Goans prefer Europe and USA.. as the conversation progressed, he told me "you know sir! I am unlucky otherwise i would have got a portuguese passport by now and got myself settled in USA". though I knew it was not as easy as he made it seem, I didnt want to dampen his spirits . So I asked him. "why what happened??" He told me "well we lost our Dad's death certificate and there was no marriage certificate to prove my parents marriage." Oh!" I asked him.." so your dad was of portuguese origin or your mom??" For which he laughed for the first time and told me.. "Well sir","I am a Cocktail??".. I have a lot of people joke about their origins in the past but a cocktail? now thats a new one, I thought to myself and requested him to elaborate.

"Well" he said.. "Sir".. "My Mom was a liquor trader from Goa and my dad a drunkard who was a Maharashrtrian in Mumbai". "My mom used to do Liquor trade in Mumbai and that how my parents met each other, fell in love and decided to get married". "Thats how I am a cocktail".. I couldnt help smiling..not only because of the story but the innocense and pride with which he presented so symbolically his origin. I thought to myself.. If only we could all come out of our glass houses and accept who were are, no matter who is in front of us. Not put up a fake act to impress people who are not even significant in the big picture of our life. if only we were not so bothered about our present that we forget what we were and our origins.If only we could remember our parents and cherish them no matter how much they might have goofed up in life and in matters concerning us.The journey of life would have been less painful and would have given us more beautiful moments to think about.. I got of at my destination and asked him how much. 12 KD sir.. I gave him 12 KD and a token to acknowledge my self realisation.

Joggers Park- Revised

"How about this one?".. "How about this one?".. My fiance was showing me some designs to help me decide what I would like to wear on the D-day. Jodhpuri, tuxedos, sherwanis, the list endless.
Not only did the enitre episode make me more confused it also made me realise that unless I get in some sort of shape (human ofcourse), its very unlikely that I would look good in any of these clothes, no matter what I choose to wear, but I couldnt tell her that.
I could ofcourse say the pics of the models were edited but hey we all know the truth nah. So I decided once again to return to my "tryst with fitness" and the art of healthy living and decided I shall take a walk/run/crawl around the park everday no matter what.
The issue of being part of the world is that you cant help getting glimpses of the lives of your fellow beings and this experience was no different.
Suddenly there is this whole bunch of people and kids who are so interested in a healthy life and I am like "where were all these people for so long?". I am so used to the air-conditioned gym where i can sit and see if I could burn calories..the open air had so many challenges I had no clue about.

Lap 1 : 3:50 secs
The worried father:
Just as I was about to complete the first lap I saw a man searching the parking lot near the park as if though he was searching for his keys.. He wasnt creating a scene but from his body language I could easily make out he had lost somethin really precious. He kept pointing to the pram which he had parked near the compound wall of the park and had gone to take a quick jog to relieve his tensions and burn a few calories and as soon as he completed his lap he noticed his daughter who was asked to sit in the pram was missing and he was searching for her..I kept looking back to see if he did find her.. but he didn't.. he was so upset.. Its strange how people set out to do things and when they return to where they belong they realise they have lost or in this case misplaced something so valuable.. Just as I was about to complete Lap 2,I heard a loud shout of "Daddyyyy!!!" and saw the beautiful child smiling and running towards her dad and he ran towards her like as if they had met after years.. I am sure he will remember this moment for his entire life. maybe someday when his daughter returns to meet him from her busy academic or career schedule or for a few minutes she would take from the rat race called life..

Lap no:4 12:59 secs
Two men in a park
On completion of Lap 4 I came across two middle aged men who were visibly upset at their medical reports. " Damm! I shouldnt have gone to see the doctor, high cholestrol and Blood pressure and he has adviced me to walk for atleast an hour and to control my diet, you know how my wife is, she only needs such tiny matters to impose a ban on everything I enjoy. I mean come on I have been toiling here for like 20 years, taking all sorts of crap from my boss, struggling really hard to make my ends meet, raising kids and all. Is it wrong to maybe have a few pegs or eat some non veg?."We end up fighting almost everyday since I did this test., so I have no option but to walk..". for which the other man replied.. " Well you are lucky atleast you wife and children so close to keep an eye on you and to take care of you"."Look at me,couldnt afford the high rents here so sent them all back to India and have to wait for 365 days to go meet them for 30 days. The doctor has adviced me to conduct a surgery for my knee this year, but I havent told home. I just tell them that I am fine and doing great."" Whats the point in making them sad too". Hearing this the other man let out a huge sigh/
Maybe it was a realisation that we only value something when we no longer have it or are forced to part with it even if its momentarily and its when you see that the the man next to you is blind that you consider yourself blessed to have atleast one perfect eye..

the Run continues.......

Marriage masala

Back to work. Senior teachers seem all colored after the long Diwali break and all geared up to usher in the marriage season of India. All the young unmarriage teachers are the eye-candy of the seniors to pass on their silver-jubilee-marriage knowledge. Being the youngest in the lot I am the constant talk of the staff-room. Back at my flat 'all the single ladies' seem to be getting knocked-out LBW also known in the young marriage market as Lass Becomes Wife!! Days of feminism and freedom are gone, welcome the Phase II. ''If it makes him happy do it! What will you loose so much if you budge a little?", mother was giving one of her lectures. She holds the largest flag in the Great Indian Fat Wedding marathon and shows no signs of keeping the flag down till she has instilled in her city-born liberal thought child a bit of conversative India elegence. Secret is, she has been trying hard to filter me into the feminine sandals of the main-stream 60's heroine of Indi-cinema! Problem is I love my stilletoes a lot and I do make noise when I walk in them declaring my arrival.
With the match going strong, I asked myself if my life has lost its east-man colour. Will I be left alone? Atleast a few years earlier before I met this 'guy' I used to think that I will marry at 29 after completing my PhD and immediately visit the gynecologist to give me birth boosting pills. Now I can take it slow or I think I can at least! The Bombay... oops.. Mumbai fever took over me in graduation and incorporated me automatically in its bright lights, sunny sights and short tights. With a wide variety of friends who ranged from plain panner to peppy pepper I discovered that I was much more than sitting and reading Paulo Coelho. I realised that I was someone who loved watching Vagina Monologues with popcorn in hand and could wear anything other than dull hues and earth colours. That was once upon a time story though. Now, just like any other girl I want a certain person's very certain company but can't imagine he would travel 2,304 kilometers on weekends to light up the dinner table with my favourite wine on a cozy table at the far corner in Bootleggers. Everything suddenly circles around him and I can't figure out where I stand because as you can understand completely I would also be going around him in circles!
I guess Phase II is about loosing the teenage thunder and gearing up to be the sultry serene sexy woman who has been there and done that. The true feminine attitude that is capable of incorporating the male life-style into their own and yet clearly demarcate their own space and place. So here's to womanhood and bottoms up to the process of attaining the mark of 'woman of substance'.

Per per preoccuparsi o non preoccuparsi

"You always crib"!!!..This is the single most popular comment I have heard people make about me. Not that I am happy about it but as all Capricornians, I just have this constant feeling that something is not correct and in 99.99% cases most of the things are not right! I can't say I have the desire for more because "more" is a bus I am always trying to catch, so I am sitting here in my office on a weekend day doing what I do best (also known as nothing) and thinking what does cribbing actually mean and can I do something about it.

A man's greatest strength is to identify his weakness and do something about it so I went in search of what cribbing actually meant. I usually don’t go too far these days in search of knowledge. All I need to do is to search in google and . . . .tadaa. . . . all my questions are answered.

Cribbing is a compulsive behavior or "stable vice" seen in some horses (In my case Stud would be the preferred word). It involves the horse (me) grabbing a solid object ( yikes!! May be not always solid..... sometimes imaginary stuff too! Issues like trivial matters, financial and career concerns, family issues, relationship concerns, fiancé and the endless list goes on) such as the stall door or fence rail (something which I feel I am attached to), with his incisors (sometimes incisors are my sharp mind or even sharper tongue), arching his neck ( that’s required because that’s where the HEAD and in it often the BRAIN is, though they are usually on vacation whenever I need them), pulling against the object, and sucking in air.

( "Yup!! That’s exactly how I GRAB hold of the situation and make a total mess of it.. See how easy and effortless it is to crib.. No wonder I do it so often. Considering I wouldn't have cribbed had someone told me that it burnt calories!'' Yes! I adore my lazy self.)

Cribbing is thought to cause the release of endorphins in the horse's (my) brain ("hormones which release stress, anxiety, worry and tension in my case.. the feeling that by worrying about it I can solve it! I know, what a smart ass!"), causing a sensation of pleasure ( Yup as my fiancé would say " You derive so much pleasure from this don’t you! Worrying about nothing and complaining all the time.")

A related habit, wood-chewing, does not involve sucking in air; the horse simply gnaws on wood rails or boards as if they were food (Ya very true!! When there is nothing major to worry about you always find something smaller. Like your girl friend staying out late, waiting too long for things to happen, why isnt she picking up the phone, why is no one scrappin me in orkut, no non-vegetarian food, too much traffic and so on.... quick cribbing just to keep the grey cells busy.)

Causes and solutions

Cribbing is usually caused by boredom or anxiety, but usually both causes are related to confinement ( Yes!! The ultimate desire for man to break free from peer pressure, ambition, family pressure, performance pressure and so on.... When he feels tied down and he feels he is not doing enough and he feels he has no control over the situation). It is therefore seen most often in horses (men) that are stalled for long periods ( Yup! Chained to the same work desk for years, same friends every weekend, same life nothing actually HAPPENING. The constant feeling that enough is not good enough). Once a confirmed habit, the horse may crib in other places, even out in a grassy field, though extended turnout does, over time, reduce the frequency and intensity of cribbing (Yup! No matter how good things are for me I continue to crib. Even if things are really really great I manage to see the dark, negative, boring side of it so easily and the only time I reduce cribbing is when nothing goes wrong for like 6 months! I know very rare..... but I am working on it). Cribbing can be minimized by having the horse wear a "cribbing strap," a collar-like device that prevents the horse from swelling its neck to suck in air ( Ok!! Got the message loud and clear in the words of my most loved one "What you need is a SMACK where it really hurts!'') heee haaawwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well actually there is no sure shot cure for cribbing. Maybe a little scotch-tape and wire might help but that too will take time to show results. So until I find something else to chew sorry I mean worry about. I am the happiest Stud I know.

Maid um miyaa

Here we go! One more Diwali! Crackers, sweets, new clothes, guests, rangoli. Yes, that was the good part! Buildings catching fire, houses partially and completely eated up by fire caught due to the mishandling of crackers, burnt body part due to carelessness, fire-extinguishers summoned. All this is on a very global front but what happens at home is a personal secret, secretively shared with everyone.
My maid seems a little discontent and disturbed these days. Holi came and went away, Dushera passed by without any festive mood but here come diwali- the festival of lights and inevitable noise pollution! She, the maid in question arrives early morning banging at the door and waking me up from my sweetdream, barging into my room ready to tell me the tall tales of 'dakshees' she received from the various kind-hearted people for whom she cooks and cleans. One is the richie rich who lives in a lavish 17K rented apartment bang opposite to my apartment. He gave Rs.200 and 1/2 kg sweet bought all the way from Delhi. Another is where she was generously given a entire month's salary as the 'bakshees'. Yet another one where she received a saree and cash and sweets. I was wondering... Is she trying to make me jealous by elaborating very efficiently what others gave and making me look down upon myself! I guess that was a very good trick to bring in me the competitve spirit. But I have to take second and third and fourth opinion from my roomies to satisfy the competitive hunger I felt rising deep inside me. So, I went and asked them if they feel the same internal pull and everyone clearly stated their unwillingness to participate in the marathon to famedom among the maid community. There was a sudden dip in my desire to elevate my position and I sulked back in bed trying to recollect the dream and wondering about methods to go back to it. The maid wasnt satisfied with the ice cold response and the cold revolt began. She demonstrated her frustration and irritability in numerous way, firstly by refusing to wash the utensil which she generously and self-willingly used to clean. She talked less and had a long face and thoughtful mode switched on everytime she entered our apartment. I missed her 16-teeth-prutruding-outward-smile. She asked Poornima to get anklet from her hometown as she was leaving for home and enquired everyday if it was going to be bought and brought! Her daughter was in dire need of it and it seems that she had treatened with suicide if the anklet was not made available at the earliest. Poornima returned without the object of desire but the responsibility to buy one was passed over to Ashwini who was on holiday as well.
The news that Poornima arrived without the anklet left Archana shattered but she managed to postpone her daughters' suicide attempt for a few more days. We bought her a saree and she immediately rejected it when we delined to offer her money on top of this. She complained that the saree is worth Rs. 100 and clearly mentioned that it was way below her standard but yet she would take it if and only if extra money was 'wishfully' and 'willingly' given.
The match is still going on and Ashwini's arrival is awaited. If she brings the anklet then the peace and calm of the inhabitants can be restored or else.....

Walking down the path

He was waiting for me to unite. He was watching over me. I learnt from him the meaning of tender love, protection and care and what being partial meant as well. He waslked and i walked besides him holding hand and nagging and dragging him towards the direction of the stream taking its smooth and gently turn. He held my fingers tight sending across a sensation I long for today. If only I was as tall as him I would lay a peck on his cheek to indicate that i understood what went through his head, but I often did that when he sat down on his rocking chair besides the large window smoking his 'beedi'. He loved this beedi and smoked as much as possible throwing the bud out of the window where it lay like the various designs the bangles in the kaleidescope makes when given a slight jitter. I secretively picked those buds and sat beneath my bed to ravish what he lovingly puffed till the beedi met his skin and sent satisfactory aroma all about him. The distinct smell of the beedi still lingers in my head when I close my eyes and imagine him. My grandfather was a man of many airs and respected yet the most kindest soul I had met. He was definitely kind to me and I dont care how he was to the rest of the world.
He had left me at age eleven to blossom into a woman all alone. I missed him but talking about him at home brought tears to 'the mother dearest' of mine hence everything which included his name was avoided. It was suddenly at the bank I had an urgent urge to see him. Long dead he lay buried in the fertile soil of Kerala, become one with the soil which he and his ancestors served and worshipped. So, I walked down the Powai hill and stood in front of The Holy Trinity Church. Lush green with dedonia planted all over, colourful flowers and tall tress filled the premises beautifully. The name of the church was engraved in huge alphabets over the arch of the main gate. The main gate opened to a straight road leading straight to the church. The chapel and the Reverand's residence nested before the church while the church was towards the interior. The path was shady and a mystic breeze blew leaving a sense of peace and calm deliverng happiness and comfort to the wayward minds of people walking on this path. I took my first steps on this road and suddenly felt an instant desire to visit the cemetary. I asked the guard where the church was and he politely guided me. I walked praying in my mind that I may feel his presence and love again. I wished that the long dead souls may purify my spirit and the fire in me may be replaced by the cool water of the silent stream that flowed beneath my home in Kerala where I often dragged my grandfather. I reached the bend on the path that led to the cemetary and I walked. There lay a ruin behind the church which stood almost the height of the church building. It had trees growing over it and tall lush green grasses all around it. Lonely birds nestled with their young ones chirping and basking in the sunlight pouring from in between the leaves of the peepal trees growing on the ruined building. White butterflies flew about suddenly and filled the place with magic which only the fairies of the earth would have created. There was a huge pit dug up and soil was moved from in there to cover the coffin ones it was laid. I stood at the gate of the cemetary and wondered if I should go in. Everything looked peaceful and somewhere I felt that the souls had reached repentence and would have been purged with hyssop and unified with the purgatory part of the universe.
I turned for a moment and thought someone was watching over me. I looked around carefully around the green grass grown like the scandinavian grass and traced a man watching me. He was the same watchman who had showed me the way and was just safeguarding me from the dead. Only I knew that the dead gave me peace and took me a step closer to my grandfather.

The Truth about Liars.

While visiting one of my favourite sites the other day I read a few lines about an old classic called "Jhooti ". Bhaaga Bhaaga is picturised on Rekha, who plays a compulsive liar in the film, Jhooti. The film was directed by Hrishikesh Mukherjee and also starred Raj Babbar and Amol Palekar.

Not that I remember seeing the movie nor do I have any concerns with Rekha, but I thought to myself ( ya! I have taken it up as a part time job now) what in the world is a Compulsive liar and why would someone make a movie on that?. I think I am so fascinated by the world of lies and deception ever since we have become die hard fans of Sach ka Samna.So once again I googled it ( Man! i don't know what I would have done if google didn't exist!!.)and discovered the whole truth about lies..

TTs Theory on Lies

Google the word "Lie" and you will find 113,000,000 Sites dedicated to it. Type the word "truth" and you will find 187,000,000 sites dedicated to it. Type the word "confess" and you will find only 12,000,000 sites dedicated to it.. So I would like to safely conclude that the margin between people interested in telling the truth and those who choose to lie is decreasing rapidly and only 11% of the people who chose to lie have ever thought about confessing it. To add salt to injury I dared to google honesty and found only 20,300,000 sites interested in it while the combined site count for Liar(s) is 25,760,000. You might have guessed by now that I have no other work to do but hey someone has to show some concern for the future of mankind right..

So my desire to find out what a compulsive liar was justified but that was not before i realised that there are 16 known ways of telling lies namely Fabrication ,Bold-faced lie ,Lying by omission,Lie-to-children, White lie, Noble lie, Emergency Lie ,Perjury ,Bluffing ,Misleading/Dissembling ,Exaggeration ,Jocose lies ,Contextual

lies ,Puffery,Lying in Trade Lie by obsolete signage while theres is only 1 way to tell the truth. No wonder we live in lies. its like choosing from the ice ream available with Baskin Robbins flavours or between Chocolate and Vanilla. I know extremely tempting right??.. wait till to hear the rest of what I have got to say.

So basically it seems there are many types of liars too. Occasional Liars, Frequent Liars, Habitual Liars, Professional Liars then the Pathological and Compulsive Liars. People you work with, live with, move around, they all fall into one of these categories. I am not going to justify a lie but I feel special attention needs to be given to understand who a Compulsive Liar is cause its an extreme case when compared to the rest.

To define a compulsive liar:"A compulsive liar is defined as someone who lies out of habit. Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, large and small. For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right. Compulsive lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood, due to being placed in an environment where lying was necessary. For the most part, compulsive liars are not overly manipulative and cunning rather they simply lie out of habit - an automatic response which is hard to break and one that takes its toll on a relationship ."

So how do you spot a compulsive Liar.

Gottcha !!!( Source www.ehow.com)

***Compulsive liars lie on a regular and ongoing basis; it is a habit in which they participate almost all the time.

***Consider the apparent ease with which a person tells a lie. If they appear uncomfortable or nervous, then chances are that they are not a compulsive liar. Lying comes naturally to a compulsive liar, who looks and feels more comfortable lying than telling the truth.
Focus on the types of things that the person lies about. A compulsive liar often lies about anything and everything, even small, seemingly insignificant things.

***Evaluate the motivation behind the person's lying. If the person seems to lie simply when it is beneficial for them or when it gets them out of an awkward situation, they are probably not a compulsive liar. Someone who is a compulsive liar generally lies because doing so is a habit and not because they are trying to manipulate others.

***Think about the person's personality characteristics to determine whether they fit the stereotype of a compulsive liar. Often, compulsive liars begin this habit to get attention from others or to make themselves appear better in some way, so a compulsive liar may have issues with poor self esteem.

***Examine whether a potential compulsive liar recognizes their behavior. Because lying is such an ingrained habit for a compulsive liar, they may not even recognize that they are doing it, or they may deny the behavior.

***Look at the person's ability to remain consistent in what they say. A compulsive liar may have a difficult time keeping their stories straight since they have injected so many lies into what they have told other people

Now that we have identified the problem, I think Its only fair we at least have a plan in place to make them snap out of it

Face the Truth

***Take some time to think about what you will say to a person who compulsively lies. You want to be gentle, yet stern and come to him in a way that might help him receive what you are saying. If you scream and shout at him, it won't help the situation. It will only stir up more strife.

***Talk to the person with the compulsive lying problem about different situations that occurred when you knew he was lying. You will need to present your proof so that he will have to face the truth. When you interact with the person who has compulsive lying issues, you will need to present the truth to him every time he lies to you about something. Doing this will help him to deal with his problem often, as well as help him to realize that, yes, he has a problem and that he really needs to make a decision about lying to people.

***Be patient with the person. More than likely, he did not become like this overnight. It will, therefore, take some time to get free from this problem if he is serious about it. So, if you truly feel that you want to help this person to get free from compulsive lying, you will definitely need patience as well as the heart and the grace to stick it out.

***Tell the person if he doesn't do something about it, you will not continue to be around him any longer because he is not only hurting himself, but others as well. Sometimes people decide to finally get serious about getting help when they know they will lose a valuable relationship.

***Leave the situation alone. If it becomes too much for you and the person is not doing anything about it, it just may be time to get away from it all. You cannot force people to get help. If he has the ability to make a decision and refuses to do so, no matter how hard you try to convince him, you will be spinning your wheels and helping him to hurt you even more in the process.

Well I could go on and on about this.. its so easy to point at another and say " Oh why did u do this" but its interesting to think "Oh this is why you did this". and to think 901 people have started 14 groups in facebook simply called "I HATE COMPULSIVE LIARS".. it means there is a quite a few out there who do serious damage without them actually realising the aftermath..and those who suffer at their hands are left heart broken and deceived.

I shall return to work now.. I have told RG I have an important meeting today where we are closing a multi million dollar deal and wont be able to attend to any calls today .. hey that not a compulsive lie that B****S***. ;)