Yatra Mozhi- The Journey

A wise lady once told me change is most permanent thing in life,
Hope she realised how difficult it is to let go of the past and move on.
The future looks so bright, so nice and perfect,
though my heart fears if this is another reflection, mirage or illusion.
Its never easy to say goodbye and move on,
it never was and it will never be.
I wont say goodbye,
because this is not the end but just the beginning,
but i will say that it was really great to have known you,
its been the experience of a lifetime to have shared this place we call our work
to have laughed, learnt, laboured together.
All i can say guys is thank you, sorry and will miss you.

Come walk with me

Come walk me along the shore of my life,

Come walk with me..

When I frown seein the tides of life bring down the dreams, hopes and aspirations i built,

be the first to help me build it back again,

be the first to tell me we will make it stronger this time,

be the first to say I am with you forever.

When i stand by the shore line with doubt and fear,

worried how the vast challenges of life will treat me,

Smile and hold my hand and tell me.. if we are together, we cant go wrong.

Come.. walk with me into the sea of life and I promise I wont let go...

When I say the rays of hardships and burden is making me weak

and I look at you with tired eyes and dropping shoulders,

Take me to a shelter, cool and secure,

to sit and talk.. to make me feel better,

to tell me that these rays will pass and we will see showers of joy soon..

To laugh, play, hug, run, eat, dine along this beautiful shore we make our own,

to cry and hold each other from drowin in the sea of sorrow and anxiety,

To scream at the sea and whisper in each others ears.. our dreams, fantasies and endless wishes of a life together.

And when the sun sets on this shore as I hold you in my arms.. and see you have become tired I shall whisper to you.. Its been a long day,you need rest,

Come walk with me..............

Confessions of a lover

Girls have a method to get what they desire. They knw how to look beautiful for the one they love and disguise the flaws by acting cute and innocent. Its a very feminine quality thought now a days males seem to be given it a try as well. I guess that the metro-male has become conscious of his dark or fair skin and uses his assets accordingly. Girls never approach anything untill they know for sure that they'll have it entirely to themselves. And they never beg and cry for it while boys take everything emotion very seriously. Who says that guys dont use their heart? I guess in todays world guys use their heart more than girls and this even takes a toll over them. Lovestruck is the perfect word to describe the long wait and long looks. Guys are surrounded by various astounding factors which keep them thinking all the while... does she love me or does she not!!... girls like to keep them confused. Guys always try to make the female for whom they are head over heals believe that he is not like the others whom she has seen earlier.. then they try hard to give her complete assurance that he knows what he is doing.. there is another round of making sure that he has explained anything and everything and has given his female a complete picture so that they dont complain later and lastly they try to make sure that the female always has a good impression or opinion about the guy... In short guys think they are smart... well!! In my personal opinion they waste their time thinking that they are smart because afterall girls always know whats on their mind, her guy or someone elses'.
Guys try hard to keep the female interested in them... if they dont ... my advice is please do... untill and unless you are trying to avoid her! which is another possibility which again the female would come to know any which ways.
Well initially the guy wants to leave the dorr open for the girl to leave if she finds him uncomfortable to be with but then there comes transition. All this nice boy feeling goes for a toss when he starts getting obsessive and possessive about her. Understanding females can be easy as well as difficult. Firstly they talk till the guy understands that she likes him and then when he realises it finally she starts acting a bit distant so that his level of obsession and possessiveness increases. Thus, after a while his need to talk increases, his desire that she should miss him while he is not around also increases. But the situation is vis versa where the guy misses the girl even if he is away or she is away. I wont say that the feeling of missing is not prominent in the female yet it is more in the male. In short males are more emotional than females. females can curb their feelings but males cant. In a pull to keep her attracted to them guys come up with everythg that remain as special memories for the females... Have you ever thought why do guys give flowers to females?? why do all the movies show teh guy showering gifts over the female? Why during valentines days guys have to get something special for their female? Its not because its a man's job because now-a-days even girls give flowers to their guys.. Its just because guys are always on teh run to make their position in the females life firm enough for him to float easily later. Now the word "float" has many strings attached to it.
Males are in continuous fear that the female might leave them... those who are not in the fear their light of love blows off very soon and very easily. Because their desire to keep the female interested in them and the same efforts from the females is what develops the chemistry and the physics of the relationship. A little fear of lose is very essential to keep a relation alive. Males have a tendency to oscillate in the feeling of does she love me..does she not. Problem is when guys dont understand what to expect from love! it would be a relief if men realise that love is not something one can have in a capsule but an unlimited EDI... (TT says it so assertively that i feel like double checking if what i say is right!)
Now once the fear of lose subsides there is another stage which emerges. In this stage all the emotions are arranged as per priority considering the pros and cons in them. From here on starts the new chapter. This period is that of trust building and complete commitment to the relationship.This stage makes one loose all the prior fear and emerge with a confident and a well organised relation. From here on one tends to forget each others minus' and starts considering the plus'. One starts loving the person with the flaws and faults. After this starts the link is sealed and begins the period where we start taking each other for granted. We start taking each other for granted forgetting the effort, love, passion and commitment and most of the pain one went through towards brining this relation to a level it has reached today. Suddenly one day we sit up, clear our dreamy eyes and realise that this is not the way it was supposed to be. We understand that the person in question here, who is under our vigilant petrolling eyes is worth much more in our lives and all the rights and wrongs dont really matter. Then again we sit and alter our list of whats expected and whats not and we make sure that this list as well is not final and we keep altering and modifyng it and then on never wait for an issue to surface. Then keep love as a framework to develop our friendship our camradrie and make sure that the person you love is also our best friend and if situation requires then that person as well becomes your own enemy because that person will criticize you to the core but you should understand why she says whatever she did. Here, now one accepts whats right and tries to analyse if its wrong. Thus, we should keep spreading the frame of love and plant whatever you want in it and pluck away a little bitter memories and replace them with the truck load of sweet memories.

The pic which made me think

Life is too short for the wrong Job!!!....

Recently I saw a picture which really made me think.. I want to share it with u guys...

Someday we will meet in paradise

As I walked into my office today, my colleague M told me, “Hey I read your blog on X28. I was really able to relate with it”, “Dil ko choo lia!” ( touched my heart) and made a gesture with his hands as if he was wiping his tears. Though at that moment it might have seemed that he was making fun of me, I could see that I had written something which did touch his heart in a small way and hey I was happy..

The greatest flaw I have as a Capricorn is that I crave so much for attention and recognition. It gives me the kind of drive that pushes me to do more. If only I could pay my credit card bills with it, I would have worked forever for free.

Today was one of the days when everything was going right. The kind of day when you feel you are the master of your own destiny. The kind of day when you love your life. The kind of day you make everybody proud. The day you finally see light at the end of the tunnel. The kind of day when you are in the office and you know for sure that you can shutdown your PC by 6:00pm. The kind of day when you know that you absolutely cant go wrong..

So sitting in X28 now feeling so good about myself, I am doing something that I wouldn’t have ever done even if my life depended on it . Opening up my laptop and putting down my thoughts to words. I have finally begun to realize that life presents few opportunities to everyone. You can either close your eyes and think hey that opportunity will be there tomorrow or think hey that opportunity might be there tomorrow but it might not have my name on it.

I am feeling a little guilty now, cause I gave Beta my fish a funeral note but didn’t do the same for Alpha. Ok now don’t look at me as if it was my fault. I came home one day to see how he was doing and my mom told me hey don’t look, he is gone.. He is gone I exclaimed. Yes my mom said. I came to feed him today and saw him lying in the bowl. Oh! In a way I felt bad and good. Bad because I only had a bowl now no fish and happy because he would now reunite with Beta .Sounds so much like the climax of those Bollywood movies in the 80’s. Anyways I have just one thing to say to Alpha for the record. “ refer what I wrote for Beta. Ditto applies for you too. Keep swimming guys. We will surely miss you guys. Well my experiment with “ Two fish in a bowl” have taught me the following valuable lessons in life

What you need is not always what you want.
You realize how much someone means to you only when they are no longer there
Before committing to a relation make sure if you have the time and space for it.
Be sensitive to the needs and requirements of people who depend on you.
When you start a relation everything is so nice. The challenge is to maintain it.
Find time to check how people you love and you know are doing. It will mean a lot to them.
Never wait for tomorrow what you can do today.

Not bad for 5 Dollars nah?.

Thoughts on X28 at 8:00pm (GMT +4:00)

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. ~Oprah Winfrey"

After a long days work, I have to walk nearly 15 minutes to catch a transport bus to reach home. The journey back home is about 1 hour excluding the waiting time.. All in all it was initally a painful journery espically when u were used to better means of transport. Well the question you would ask is why do you want to it??
I would like to inform you that it is during this walk and journey that i have discovered the truths about my life. Its during this walk that i remembered my childhood, my college days, my beautiful life with RG, what we talked about, what we are going to talk about, my past, my present ,my future and prepare myself for the challenges that await me tomorrow. The FM music on my phone, the cool breeze of the last few months of winter here, Its really worth all the trouble.. As i reach the bus stop I am usually the only one there. I sit on the bench and begin to sing the songs and tap my feet and look in anticipation for the messiah who is going to take me to the comfort of my home, where dinner is ,my mom and dad waiting for me to get and RG waiting to talk to me and I know she is goin to ask me as always.. "Why are u late today?".. "Dont u have a life".. ya guys dont say a word!!!

"X28 ",When i see her it brings a smile and a relief to my face. I wouldnt call her a bus because she is more than that to me.. She is my partner during recession. Once i have entered I m in comfort.The journey has enabled me to see the world like I had never seen it before. The last time i had felt this way was when I had to travel in a general compartment train in india near the rest-room. Yes readers, Life teaches you a lot you just need to be prepared.

The bus is crowded with people from different countries, age groups and walks of life who have left all they have back home to come here and make a living.. They all have dreams and aspirations, yet i could see that they were all tired and just wanted to go home, have a good meal and sleep just like me.. Some had a good day, some had bad..some have a family waiting for them, some are alone..
I look at them and realise, I m so fortunate.. my problems in life have a solution, but most of these people on this bus have no hope in life.. they have seen more downs in life that i can ever imagine, yet they look life in the eye and are ready to take a punch or two and even punch back.. It gives me a sense of satisfaction that the worst is over and the best is yet to come.. with this thought i turn on the volume of the music close my eyes and dream of everything and anything thats close to my heart and of the good days that are goin to come and the greater heights that I would have to acheive and I say to my self

I did whatever i could do today to the best of my abilites
Some went good some went bad.. I learnt something some i forgot,
I made some friends and didnt add to my list of enemies
I am safe and the lord has given me another day to live.
Let me rest now and not stop because tomorrow I have to face the challenges the world is goin to present for me..
I am ready for it

Bye Beta.. Bye....

Life can be pretty ,life can be really dynamic.. Life can be the way you choose it to be. I am a strong believer of this because I have seen both sides.. you can either choose to be alone or with someone really special.. However the major challenge in having that someone in your life is that you need to make sure that, you have your space and time, she has her space and time and you both have your space and time.. If anyone the links are missing, it can get really cranky and the machinery called life will not function the way it should. I know I am scaring you readers with this sudden doze of philosphy and all. Please pardon me.. I am in the process of growing up and there is just so much I am learning each day.. Will keep you all posted on all my "gyan".

You might be wondering why is this guy talking about relations on one hand had has posted the pic of an aquarium in it.. Well its a tragic story.. I bought this pair of fish at the Global Village this year during the shoping festival ( ya! ya!, its the global recession period.. you need to buy something nah!).. anyways having exhausted my shopping budget for this year ( ya! things are really that bad ;) ) I decided i would make the best of it.. anyways it seems I took a little too much care of it coz one of the fish passed away on day 1 I know, I am soo good and overdoin things.. and I thought I d put up this pic as a rememberance of what a beautiful relation it could have been if only I had taken proper care and given it the time it deserved. Anyways.. mistake happen in relations and you can only learn from them and hope it doesnt happen again. I am worried about the other fish in the bowl though.. Do i leave it to live the rest of its life alone or do i get it someone. Should do something about it..

Dear Beta,

Sorry things dint work out between us.. Maybe you would have been happier at the Thailand stall at the Global Village all i tried was to give u a good home.. Guess it was not to be.. It really hurt to see that you are no longer with us.. If only I knew where i went wrong.. I am really sorry and hope to see you again in someother life.. when I may be a fish and you the wise guy who overfed you with fish food and didnt follow the instructions while cleaning the tank..

Take care.. Will miss you.. Hope I could have known you better.. Keep swimming..

verse against prose

Somewhere; there is happiness in my heart,Somewhere; there lies sadness from the start,Somewhere; there is peace leaving all apart,Somewhere; there is meaning to all my thought.Wisdom; lies under the tooth,Melancholy; goes with the touch of the boot,Freedom; Breathing fresh air or fragrance,Happiness; a feeling quite at variance.What to sort out and tell the world;From where I'm taught,How to move about and bring to light;What is forgot,All my feeling; from which only wrath I brought,Looking at the ceiling; Seeking somewhere paradise lost.I'm sincerely; in search of something somewhere,Foolishness; I haven't heard, I'm not aware.

Falafel for the soul

I hope my 2.5 readers havent missed me too much. The last few weeks have come as both a surprise and a rude shock to me.. from my boring 12x6 work schedule i suddenly reached Egypt on a 9 day dour as part of work ofcourse but for a change i was able to mix work with pleasure and take time to see why RG wants to go to Egypt someday. I told her its a good thing i got a head start atleast now i can tell the difference between a mummy 24 and a pharaoh or is the same?.. the mystery continues.. and ya RG didnt accept that as a honest excuse. Well must confess the beauty about Egypt or cairo in particular is that you can be there for a year or even more and yet you cant say you have seen it all.. Its like its a land where time stopped.. the buildings, the people, the pace of life.. its soooo slow.. and you need all your nine lives if u plan to drive or travel by car there.. my my..
Oh so you all must be dying to know the places i managed to visit during my expedition to Egypt..
a. Egyptian Musuem: if you wanna know where all the tourists are in Egypt, go to the museum on a weekend. Its so crowded.. and the musuem is like a treasure chamber of history and artifacts. Always do a little bit of reading about egyptian history before you actually go there or have a good guide or reference book otherwise after 15 minutes they all look the same.. You cant take photos so that makes it a even more special stop.
b. River Nile: If you are on a really tight budget or you just wanna see the city i suggest you walk across the street towards the Cairo city tower and you will see the River Nile. River Nile thats pretty much all can say about that.. you can cross the river by boat or do what smart people who have no life insurance usually do.. Use the bridge and thats wht I did..
c. Cairo Tower: When i put Cairo Tower on my list I knew exactly what I wanted.. See Cairo from the highest point possible and take as many pics as I can. and as i went up the tower on usually crowded lift i reached the perfect spot.. Its a lovely view and on a good day you could just spend hours standing and watching the city life.. I suggest you dont go there if you dont have a camera.. and its a great place to take group pics.
d. Citadel: I suggest you visit the citdael only if you are in a mood to walk. coz this is a huge fortress built on a hill.. The mosque of Mohammed Ali is a definite beauty.. remember to remove your shoes/sandals before u go in or carry polythene bags to cover your shoes.ge
e. Giza Pyramids: Never Walk and see the pyramids.. thats an insult to its beauty. I suggest goin on camel back like i did or horse back.. Dont pay anythin more than 50 LE ( egyptian pound). again the place to take pics.
f. Food u must Try: Falafel, Foul, Sea Food ( from the port saied Suez Canal).
Places i will see next time with RG; all the above and a few places more.
In my limited experience the people there are really kind and friendly.

I guess that pretty much sums up my Egypt Trip.. From my next article onwards i will be back on track reflecting on what becomin 25 years old means..

Home sweet home!!

It's the first day of year. I am home. Sweet home. It's a place I grew up in. I wont say that i know every nook and corner of this small town yet it's a memory I always cherish. I look out of the window of my room and I see a beautiful world. A world minus of dust and pollution, rid of intoxicants in the air we breath. It's a small town in was born in, it has no assigned place on the map as well but it exists. People who have grown with time and changed dwell here. They have grey in their hair now. Reminding me of my long lost childhood. Concrete has encroached here as well. A few years from now this peace, serenity and calm will be gone and it will become one another concrete structural world.
I stand besides a window, my eyes are vigilant, my ears tuned to the sound of nature around me. The river which flows below my house, the gushing wind moving softly over the flowing water and the sweet sound of the river taking a turn all of it is out of a dream. I sit outside the house in the early mornings and I see small time farmers walking towards the river to take bath and gear up for the day ahead. On their way to the river they talk to my grandfather who is the chiefton of the panchayat. He is a man of medium height and a strong yet lean built. A family is an agricultural family with a good hold in the community and people respect my grandfather as he is one of the most influential man around. His built can never give you a glimpse into the ability he has at farming and his capacity to make over fifty people work on the fields every day during the harvest season on the paddy fields. The panchayat has decided once to make a bathing pond for the poor in and around the place where I live. I remember how many an old and wise people had a conversation with my grandfather to give a piece of his land to built the pond. He was generous enough to have given a mass of land for the pond as well as for the construction of the panchayat school. After a few years all these deeds would be forgotten because time is an eraser. People forget the bad fast and the good faster.
Humans have a very short term memory and it works as a great weapon when one wants to forget and never recall. Some things in life are unforgettable; first love, first kiss, tender warm of the souls encounter of the other, realisation that what one looks upon is the one for whom that feeling of doing anything ushered in.